More Than Milk: Debunking the Myth That Breastfeeding Is Free

When we talk about breastfeeding, one phrase that often gets thrown around is that it’s “free.” It’s true that breastfeeding doesn’t require the same financial investment as formula, but to label it as free is both misleading and dismissive. This perspective ignores the significant cost that breastfeeding demands—not in dollars, but in time, energy, and emotional labor.

As an IBCLC, I’ve seen firsthand how this misconception affects new parents, especially mothers, who are often left feeling undervalued and unsupported. Let’s take a closer look at why calling breastfeeding “free” misses the mark and why we need to recognize the true cost of nurturing an infant.

Time Is a Cost, Too

While breastfeeding may not require a trip to the store to buy formula, it does require an incredible investment of time. For many new mothers, feeding a newborn can take up to 8 to 12 hours a day, especially in the early weeks when babies are feeding frequently. That’s the equivalent of a full-time job—without weekends off.

In a society that often praises productivity and efficiency, it’s easy to see why many people overlook the time mothers spend breastfeeding. But time is valuable, and when a mother dedicates hours to feeding her child, it can leave little room for anything else—whether that’s sleep, work, or simply a moment to breathe.

To dismiss breastfeeding as “free” is to disregard the countless hours mothers spend nourishing their babies, often at the expense of their own needs.

The Emotional and Physical Toll

Breastfeeding also demands a physical and emotional investment that rarely gets acknowledged. Nursing can be exhausting—both mentally and physically—especially when mothers are waking up in the middle of the night to feed, navigating challenges like latching difficulties, or worrying about their baby’s weight gain.

There’s an emotional toll, too. Breastfeeding requires a deep connection between mother and baby, and while this bond can be incredibly rewarding, it can also be draining. The pressure to be “always available” to nurse, the anxiety over milk supply, and the isolation that sometimes accompanies the demands of breastfeeding can weigh heavily on a mother’s mental health.

Breastfeeding is more than a biological process—it’s an emotional labor that often goes unrecognized. And when we label it as “free,” we overlook the real toll it takes on a mother’s body and mind.

The Importance of Support

Perhaps one of the most harmful aspects of the “breastfeeding is free” myth is that it downplays the need for support. When we perpetuate the idea that breastfeeding is easy, natural, and costless, we create an unrealistic expectation that mothers should be able to do it all without help.

In reality, breastfeeding often requires significant support—from partners, family members, healthcare professionals, and communities. Whether it’s adjusting a baby’s latch, figuring out the right feeding positions, or simply giving a mother the space and time to rest, support is crucial. Breastfeeding might be natural, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy—and it certainly doesn’t mean it’s free of challenges.

When we don’t recognize the true cost of breastfeeding, we fail to provide mothers with the support they need. This can lead to burnout, frustration, and feelings of inadequacy—none of which should be part of the breastfeeding experience.

The Real Value of Nurturing

Breastfeeding isn’t “free” because it’s not just about the transfer of milk from mother to baby. It’s about the time, energy, and care that go into nurturing an infant. And this nurturing is invaluable. It’s an investment in a baby’s health, emotional security, and development. It’s also an investment in the bond between mother and child, creating a foundation of trust and connection that will last a lifetime.

But nurturing, like any labor, has a cost. When we dismiss breastfeeding as free, we diminish the significance of the nurturing work that mothers do every day. We imply that their time and energy are not worth compensating or even acknowledging. And that’s harmful—not just to mothers, but to the very idea that caregiving and nurturing are essential, valuable roles in our society.

We must shift the conversation away from the idea that breastfeeding is “free” and toward a recognition of the profound work it entails. Nurturing an infant is one of the most important jobs a parent can do, and it’s time we start treating it as such.

Changing the Narrative

So, how do we change this narrative? It starts with acknowledging that breastfeeding, like any form of caregiving, is a significant investment of time, energy, and emotional labor. We need to stop framing it as something that costs nothing and start valuing the work that goes into it.

For partners, family members, and friends, this might mean stepping in to offer practical support—whether it’s helping with household tasks, taking care of older children, or simply giving a breastfeeding mother time to rest. For employers, it means creating policies that support breastfeeding parents, including providing paid family leave, flexible work hours, and lactation spaces.

For all of us, it means changing the way we talk about breastfeeding. Instead of saying it’s “free,” let’s talk about it as the important, demanding work that it is. Let’s make sure mothers know that their time and effort are valued, and that they’re not expected to do it all on their own.

Final Thoughts

Breastfeeding is a gift—one that many mothers want to give to their children. But it’s not free. It requires an immense amount of time, energy, and support. And until we acknowledge that, we’re doing mothers a disservice.

As an IBCLC, I’m here to support you through the ups and downs of your breastfeeding journey. Whether you need help with latching, positioning, or simply finding balance in your daily routine, I’m here to remind you that your time and effort are valuable—and that you don’t have to do this alone.

Let’s change the conversation about breastfeeding together.